The Maddie Diaries Read online

  I hear they’re making High School Musical 4 with all new characters, and I have to say I’m not so sure how that will work. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll definitely watch it. But it’s not the characters that I loved and connected to. Without them, it won’t be the same. I think about how my cousin is five now, and she will watch it and maybe get as attached to it as I got to the movie ten years ago. We really rooted for them: for the Wildcats to win; for Gabriella and Troy to find love even though he was a jock and she was a brain; for Sharpay to stop being so mean; and for Ryan to finally have his chance in the spotlight. When I think back on my childhood, it has this special place, and I know a lot of teens who feel that way about it. We all wanted to be them because they had so much fun and things turned out fine in the end because they were a team and worked together.

  Another big part of my childhood was collecting stuff. When I say “stuff,” I mean lots of little things with even smaller pieces that we were always losing and my mom was always stepping on. Like a Polly Pocket shoe. I had piles of Pollys and dozens and dozens of Littlest Pet Shop animals. I was also really into those little “squishies” you get in the vending machine at the supermarket. They were these little rubber figures shaped like fruit and animals with a hole in one end so you could use them as a pencil topper. I kept them in this little wallet, and I would brag to my friends when I got the rare ones. Every time we’d go to the grocery store, I’d beg for more. We were also big on dolls. Mackenzie had every set of the Bitty Twins: the blondes, the brunettes, the African American ones. I was more into the American Girl dolls, because I loved their long hair that you could style. We had thirteen in total, which I know is crazy! But I wanted the latest historical one every Christmas or birthday. We’d play house, pretending we were both married (me to Zac Efron, and Kenzie to Justin Bieber), and all the dolls would be our kids. I’d pretend to be on the phone with my husband: “Hi, honey! How’s your day?” We had this toy salon chair, and I would be the stylist, and the American Girls were all my clients. Each one would get a new look: braids, buns, pigtails, ponytails, updo, half-updo, even a French twist. I learned how to do my own hair for shows and competitions by practicing on them. Kenzie’s favorite American Girl was Kit—the one from the Great Depression. She has short blond hair (which always made it tough for me to style). I’d have to say my favorite was a look-alike doll I named Chloe. I know the idea is you’re supposed to choose a doll that looks just like you, but instead, I went for one with long blond hair. Way more fun in my opinion. I also loved Molly because she came with glasses. Of course, we lost them almost immediately . . .

  We had this craft drawer in our laundry room filled with colored paper, stickers, paints, markers, crayons, glitter glue. If it was a rainy day, or I was ever bored or looking for something to do, I just opened it up and created some project out of my imagination. We painted a lot of canvases, but I think our favorite thing to make was thank-you notes and cards for people. We never had to go buy one at the Hallmark store. We also had these coloring books with faces, where you could use crayons or colored pencils to do their “makeup.” I could spend hours on this, creating dramatic smoky eyes and red lips for my girls and dreaming of where they would be going all made up. Maybe on a date . . . or to the prom . . . or some red-carpet movie premiere.

  My favorite thing to do in elementary school was go to the playground and hang from the monkey bars. I would have calluses on my hands from doing my tricks and hanging there, upside down. I was pretty fearless. When I got a little older, I volunteered in one of my teachers’ kindergarten classes. I would come in thirty minutes early and help her set up; then I would work with her students, going over their letters with them or putting stars on their papers. I guess I’ve always loved working with little kids—there’s something about their energy and the way they are so excited to learn and experience new things. The world is such a big, cool place to them, and it’s fun to see things through their eyes. Sometimes I think I’d make a pretty good teacher.

  My family always took a yearly trip to Disney World, and we have tons of photos of me and my sister with every princess you can think of. My two favorites are Ariel and Cinderella, so I’d always get in line for them, even if it was a mile long. I was patient; Kenzie not so much. I had this book that we filled with their autographs. Sometimes Kenzie would get up there after waiting an hour or more and burst into tears; the characters scared her when she was really small. She was probably thinking, Who is the strange lady wearing seashells? Or, Why is there this big mouse with a giant head hugging me? It cracked me up. We loved running through the sprinklers and going on all the rides. Now that we’re older and spend a lot more time in L.A., we go to Disneyland instead. It’s great, but not quite the same: The castle isn’t as big, and some of the rides are different. I think my favorite part of the park is the California Adventure side. When I was little, I used to be terrified of roller coasters—you couldn’t bribe me to go on one. But now I can’t get enough of them. California Screamin’ has about five thousand flips (not kidding!), and it’s the perfect name for it because you scream your head off the entire ride. I guess what I love is the adrenaline rush, how the coaster climbs, climbs, climbs to the top, then drops down and takes your breath away. My mom won’t go on them; she says they make her sick. But I love any thrill ride. One time, when we were visiting Australia for Dance Moms, we went on the Superman roller coaster at Warner Bros. Movie World. It literally speeds up from zero to a hundred kilometers per hour in two seconds; it’s one of the fastest coasters in the world and you feel like your head is going to explode! Because we were there for a press tour, we had security guards who were able to get us to the front of the line without waiting. I rode it four times in a row—not even a break in between. One of my dance teachers who was with us quit after two times and said she was going to throw up if she did it again. But me? I kept on going.

  People have always told me that I’m “an old soul.” When I was younger, I wasn’t sure what that meant, or if it was a particularly nice thing to be—it sounded like an insult. But now, I understand it and I agree. I’ve always been mature and responsible; I’ve always acted older than I am. Perfect example: I hate to be late for anything, and when you’re in L.A., being on time is nearly impossible. The traffic is crazy, bumper-to-bumper in all four lanes on the freeway, and you just sit there, stuck. When I have an audition or a show to get to, I sit down with my mom and make a plan how to get there and how long it will take. Then I add on like an hour! The other day we were going to an audition that was nine miles away and I swear it took us an hour and a half! Most kids don’t worry about this, I know. But you can set a watch by me. I’m just someone who likes to be punctual and on a good day, early. I think it shows that you’re on top of things and you care. I’m super organized—I will always lay out my outfit the night before. And I don’t believe in wasting money, which is the opposite of how Mackenzie feels. I always tell my mom, “It’s okay, you don’t have to buy it for me, I don’t need it,” while my sister has a long, long list of stuff she wants/needs/has to have. I’m more practical—I save for a rainy day. I don’t think you need an expensive bag because it has a fancy label. Kenzie, however, would do just about anything for a Louis Vuitton bag. Maybe even her chores, for once!

  I’ve also always been someone who thinks and analyzes and tries to consider what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes. I feel really deeply about things; I take them to heart. If something makes me mad or sad, I can’t just sit there and not do anything about it. I want to fix things. I don’t like to see or hear that something is unfair or unjust, that people are suffering, especially kids. My mom always visited nursing homes when I was little. She loved talking to older people, and I’m the same way. Most of my friends today are a lot older than me. I’ve always been really comfortable around grown-ups, and they’re comfortable around me because I don’t think or act like I’m a kid. If I was quiet when I was little, it’s most likely because I was think
ing—not because I was shy or afraid.

  Looking back on my little-kid days, I think I’m still the same person—just in a bigger body. I just had a growth spurt and now I’m taller than my mom, which is funny—she has to look up to me when she’s telling me what to do! My personality has stayed the same: I still act goofy when I’m with my friends and family, and I try and crack silly jokes or make them laugh. My American Girl dolls may be tucked away in the closet now, but I still love to do hair (usually mine, my friends’ or Mackenzie’s) in crazy dos. My room definitely looks different—I’ve gone from pink and purple to gray, black, and white. I think it’s more grown-up, less Disney princess, and I really love to decorate. I could seriously have a career as an interior decorator. Just the other day I was in Crate and Barrel and found this fluffy pillow I couldn’t resist. I love to look through decorating magazines for ideas or watch those extreme makeover shows on TV—how cool would it be to redo an entire house? But the furniture in my bedroom is still the same—I have my dresser and bed that I had when I was seven years old. I love new stuff, but I’m also sentimental. I like things that remind me of who I was, things that feel safe and familiar.

  The thing that has changed the most is how I think. I do a lot of “big picture” thinking now, not just living in the moment or letting other people around me make the decisions. I have a voice and an opinion. I think about the person I want to be and what I can do to get myself there. I think about being a role model and the impact my words and actions can have on others. My mom always tells me that I’ve been given this gift—kids look up to me and listen to what I say. If they’re listening and watching, then I want to empower them to do great things with their lives! Like I used to teach Kenzie her ABCs, I’d like to teach kids to stop bullying each other, to respect that everyone is unique and special in their own way, and make them understand that we all have so much to give and share with each other.

  I used to worry a lot about what people thought or said about me, and now I’ve come to realize you need to own who you are. You can’t let others dictate that for you. You can’t mold yourself to fit someone else’s image or expectations. My confidence has soared in so many ways. I used to worry about what I was wearing and spend hours rummaging through my closet: Would my friends like it? Was it cool or trendy enough? Now I wear what makes me feel good, what I like because it makes me smile or walk a little taller and hold my head up high. I also think I’ve learned to relax more. I don’t just mean hanging out at the pool with friends. I mean I’ve relaxed my attitude. Even as an eight-year-old, I took things so seriously and I was nervous all the time. I was intense. Today, I laugh more. I don’t feel like everything is riding on getting one acting gig or winning one dance performance. You can’t stress about everything all the time.

  I know there’s a lot of pressure on teens—we’re stuck in between being kids and being adults and we want to be taken seriously. But you don’t have to be perfect. I know that now: It’s okay to have a bad-hair day. It’s okay to mess up on a test or lose a soccer game. It happens. Honestly, it happens to me a lot. I try really hard not to judge myself so harshly the way I used to. I tell myself, “There’s always tomorrow, you can always do better.” And I really love the idea that the future is filled with so many possibilities—what will I try next? What’s out there that I haven’t even discovered yet? I give myself a few minutes to be angry or disappointed; then I move on—no dwelling. I like to be someone always moving forward. I guess that hasn’t changed much since I was a toddler—no one could hold me back then, and I like to think no one can hold me back now.

  Shhh! Don’t Tell . . .

  STUFF NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT ME (AND NOW YOU DO!)

  I love Nicholas Sparks movies. The Best of Me, The Longest Ride, and The Choice are my all-time faves. I love how they’re sad, romantic, and dramatic all rolled up into one. I have to watch them with a box of Kleenex.

  I can rap. Pretty much any Drake song, I know all the words.

  The character I am most like on Gossip Girl is Serena. She always has really cute outfits and she’s a very caring friend.

  The character I wish I could be more like on Grey’s Anatomy is Izzie. She literally gets emotionally invested in every patient. She has the biggest heart. She’s also really fun—and bold. She says what’s on her mind.

  At Dairy Queen, I will always order . . . a chocolate-chip Blizzard with chocolate sprinkles mixed into it. Yum!

  I make silly videos for Sia. Usually makeup tutorials. The other day I pretended to be Miranda Sings putting on eyeliner.

  I met supermodel Gigi Hadid at the Tommy Hilfiger show and she is super sweet. I love her style, I love her hair. Basically, I’d love to be her—at least for one day.

  When I was seven, I had my own YouTube channel where I did face painting. I could make myself look like a vampire, an Avatar . . .

  I’d love to be a member of Fifth Harmony. Seriously, they could just rename the group Sixth Harmony, and it would be cool with me. Just one prob: I can’t sing. So maybe I could just be their backup dancer? I love their music and I love what they stand for: girl power!

  People think I’m crazy confident, but I’m really insecure about my skin. I hate zits. If I have one, I’m like, “I can’t go out with this thing in the middle of my forehead!” Luckily, I’m really good at concealing with makeup. Cover-up is a girl’s best friend. I also used to hate my teeth—I think they’re too big, and people used to write some mean comments about them on my social media. But Tonya Brewer, my hair and makeup stylist, thinks they’re cute, and has taught me to love them. When we were backstage waiting to go on at SNL, I drew a picture of them on her. The next thing I knew, she had my doodle added to her arm as a permanent tattoo! She wanted to prove to me that I’m beautiful exactly as I am, and I should never change.

  If I could dye my hair any color and not have my mom freak out, it would be blond. I mean, she colors her hair. Sorry, Mom, I think that was your secret!

  My favorite thing to shop for is shoes. The Nordstrom shoe department in L.A. is my happy place. My everyday shoes are Adidas sneakers because they’re comfy. But otherwise, I’m crazy for Jimmy Choo, Dior, Valentino, YSL . . . they’re like walking works of art. Honestly, I would love to have a shoe museum in my closet so I could display them.

  I could eat an entire bag of . . . goldfish crackers. The cheesy ones. You know the ones little kids like to eat? The other day I was home in my apartment in L.A. and I was starving. All I could find was goldfish. So I ate handful after handful until there were just crumbs left. Kenzie’s gonna be so mad.

  Dear Maddie

  YOU ASKED . . . I ANSWERED!

  I’m thirteen, and I look at all the girls in my dance studio and think they are so much skinnier than me! I feel like a blob! I’m always comparing my body to theirs.

  Okay, I have my blob days, too, when I feel like everyone is skinnier or prettier than me. It’s called being a teenager. I promise you, every girl in your studio has probably felt the way you do at one time or another. When you hit puberty, your body kind of goes crazy. Cut yourself a little slack as you go through these changes. Beyond that, if you’re eating healthy and dancing regularly, you shouldn’t have to worry about being skinny. Skinny doesn’t necessarily mean healthy or pretty, and it’s not a smart goal to have for yourself. Instead, try to practice good habits: Drink lots of water, make sure to get enough protein and veggies, and don’t overdo the junk food. I do my best. Just the other day I had quinoa for the first time and it was life-changing! Try not to be so critical of yourself. Love yourself for who you are, inside and out.

  My ballet teacher is always picking on me and pointing out when I do something wrong. Why does she hate me?

  I don’t think your teacher hates you. The teacher who picks on you the most usually also cares about you the most—he or she sees the potential and wants you to improve. I know it’s hard to listen to someone saying negative things about you, but correction and constructive cri
ticism is part of being a dancer. Don’t take it personally. I know, I know, easier said than done. But remind yourself that your teacher just wants you to be the best dancer you can be.

  There’s this boy in my school I am crushing on but he doesn’t know I’m alive. I don’t know if I should say anything to him—what if it scares him away?

  Okay, do not, I repeat, do not go up to him and say, “I have a major crush on you.” He’ll think you’re weird and probably run away. Who could blame him? That’s a lot to take in all at once. Instead, start up a casual conversation—maybe about a class or a hobby you have in common. Be friends first, then build from there. He’ll get to know you better and you can figure out if the feeling is mutual.

  Today Is a Beautiful Day to . . .

  One of my favorite sayings on Grey’s Anatomy is “It’s a beautiful day to save lives.” The characters say it to each other, and Kalani Hilliker, JoJo Siwa, and my other Grey’s-loving friends and I have kind of picked up on it. But it also got me thinking—what is today a beautiful day to do? I consider that question and make a little mental list, then make sure to check it off. I think it helps you feel more energetic and optimistic if you have a reason to do something fun, helpful, or healthy with your time. You can come up with your own list (the more creative the better), but I thought I’d give you a few in every chapter to get you going!