The Maddie Diaries Page 5

  Memories of Maddie

  “One of my favorite memories is [of] the day Maddie and I randomly made up a song called ‘Monarch.’ I don’t know why we find that song so funny, but every time we sing the song we start cracking up with laughter. When we’re not dancing, we love to bake together. She usually comes to my house around Christmas and we bake, watch movies, and love pulling pranks on my brothers. She is the same Maddie that I have always known. She is dedicated and consistent. We know and understand each other. I miss her a lot and so does the team, but we understand her need to branch out. It is different not having Maddie there to tell her funny jokes.” —Nia Sioux

  “Nia and Maddie were friends before kindergarten, before the television show. They are two Pittsburgh girls who shared a passion for dance. After a decade of being together for hours almost every day, it was a significant change not having them around. We remain connected. They may not talk every day, but when they see each other they can pick up where they left off. Sometimes they share a moment without words—a smile or a giggle conveys a lot. They understand each other. They each want the best for each other, and they are very supportive of each other. Scheduling can be difficult but each of the girls makes it a point to congratulate the other when she achieves a milestone.

  “I do not think they can remember a time when they were not friends. We toured Europe, Australia, and America together. We met incredible people on our adventures and experienced new cultures, foods, and sights. Going to the Eiffel Tower, holding a koala, and taking countless bus rides were part of our journey. It was so special sharing these moments with our daughters. [Maddie’s mom] Melissa and I love reading, so we had our own little book club! I have fond memories of our discussions. Maddie has a positive energy that is contagious. Her confidence, hard work, and diligence are a great example to young girls. Maddie’s journey was unique and illustrates that you have to put in the hard work to achieve a dream.”

  —Holly Frazier (Nia’s mom)

  * * *

  I remember almost every dance I did—what I wore, what the music was, where and when we danced it. I could even probably still do the choreography: It’s etched on my brain! In all, there were probably over two hundred dance competitions I competed in. Honestly, I’ve lost track—I’d have to probably check the Dance Moms fan pages for a complete list. My mom is pretty funny—she blocks this stuff out. I do a dance and she forgets it immediately—like on the bus on the way home. She has to literally go through racks of costumes in our “costume room” at home or watch the episodes on YouTube to jog her memory. There have just been so, so many, but when I connect with a dance, I feel like it becomes a part of me. And then I can never forget.

  My Most Memorable Dances

  “Cry.” The song was by Alexx Calise, who is one of my favorite singer/songwriters. My first lyrical solo ever at a StarQuest competition. It’s kind of a sad song: “I don’t wanna do anything but cry . . .” Very sad lyrics, and my mom cried her eyes out watching me do it—I could actually see her sobbing in the front row! But I was trying to be very free and happy in my dancing—like I had to rise above all the storms and darkness. My costume was supposed to look like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Kenzie did the solo years later and wore the same costume for it, and I have to say she was amazing.

  “Vertigo.” I performed this at Sheer Talent. Rachael Sage wrote the music; she does almost all of my solo songs, and I love her voice and the way she captures emotion in song. This was an intense one: “Every time I hold your hand it feels like I’m drowning.” The character had to be someone in pain, trying to escape, but she keeps being pulled back. I remember the choreography had a lot of spinning, because when you have vertigo, you’re dizzy.

  “Timeless.” I performed this solo at Masters of Dance Arts. The artist is Cassandra Kubinski. It’s about love that never ends, and I like how simple my costume was—just this pale blue halter top with a little skirt. Sometimes less is more. A really overdone costume with lots of trim and glitter can sometimes distract from the dancing (in my humble opinion!). Love is a really popular theme for competition music, which is kind of funny when you think about it. How many tweens and teens have experienced a broken heart or “love that explodes then burns out?” You have to really use your imagination and get into the character; you have to feel the loss in a very mature way. Sometimes these lyrics scare me—is that what being in a relationship will be like? Getting your heart broken in a million pieces then being swallowed up in pain and regret? Doesn’t sound too appealing!

  “Birthday.” Rachael Sage again at Sheer Talent again! It starts off with me blowing out the candles on an imaginary cake. It’s mostly happy, but there are moments of frustration and sadness—especially at the end. I love how it switches back and forth emotionally like that; like someone is flipping a switch. It’s really an acting challenge. And the purple costume with all the floaty layers is really beautiful when I do my turns.

  “Happiness.” I did this at Energy last minute and also at Believe nationals. It’s a Rachael Sage song again about things getting better; happiness where there was once sadness, love lifting you up. Really pretty pink costume and I just felt good doing it—happy!

  “Come to the Cabaret.” I love the glittery theatrical costume and how sassy this dance was. Really fun, but a little nerve-racking: I learned this jazz solo a day before the Masters of Dance Arts competition! The song was by We3Kings and it had this Broadway feel to it. I loved getting into this character—she’s having fun because “life is a cabaret dance.”

  “All God’s Creatures.” If I had to pick one favorite solo, this is probably it for a lot of reasons. First of all, Rachael Sage wrote the music and it’s really powerful. I won first place with it at Energy nationals. I play a homeless girl, and the costume was some Kmart clothes we shredded up into rags and a shawl pinned over my head. It was shabby, not chic. I love the makeup, too: my eyes look all sunken in, like I haven’t slept in weeks. I’m kind of tortured throughout this contemporary dance, struggling to survive. I think it really touches the audience and allows them to feel what it must be like to be homeless and helpless on the street.

  “Lizzie Borden.” Wacky. Really weird. This was before I loved horror movies, at the New York Dance Experience competition. My character is a crazy, bloody killer running around with a hatchet. My costume was a white bloodstained apron, and my makeup was demonic. I scared myself looking in the mirror. Whenever I go to bed before the day of a competition, I run my solo like nine hundred times. I kept playing the music by Louise Heaney over and over. This eerie voice repeats over and over again, “He’s behind you!” Can you imagine the nightmares I had?

  “The Game of Love.” Loved it. Loved the costume, especially the tie with the heart on it. Loved the music. My mom says it sounded like an old Frank Sinatra song (but it was really by L. J. Nachsin). Love tapping! It’s just so much fun for me, and I don’t have to be in my head as much—it comes naturally. I just move through the dance, having the best time. I feel like the smiles are real. That was World-Class Talent and also the same competition where Mackenzie was doing “Cry.” She went on right after me, and when I saw her in the wings I gave her advice: “Point your toes, straighten your legs.” Then I hugged her and said, “I love you.” She nailed it, as I knew she would.

  “Two Sapphires.” My first duet with Kalani at Sheer Talent in New York. It was so us: “two shooting stars, two lightning storms . . .” Our birthdays are in September, a week apart, and our birthstone is sapphire, so it had a lot of meaning for us. Kalani is such a gorgeous technical dancer, and she pushed me to meet her there. One of my favorite duets ever, because I felt like we were so in sync, both in the dance and emotionally, too.

  “Sugar and Spice.” Upbeat and cute—it was the first time Kendall and I danced a duet together. I had a solo the week before, and I know I was supposed to feel bad that I didn’t have a solo this week, but we just couldn’t stop laughing together. We wore these brown spa
rkly costumes that looked like brown sugar, but hers was jazz and mine was a ballerina tutu. I love our energy when we dance together. I feel like we play off each other so well and bring out the best in each other. We have this incredible chemistry that’s hard to explain; we just “get” each other.

  “The Last Text.” This is the one that Dance Moms fans seem to always talk about. It was incredibly powerful, a warning about texting and driving. We performed it at Energy nationals. We were all in party dresses, and Paige Hyland was supposed to be driving us. We had to act like we were all busy texting and gabbing and then there’s this huge CRASH and we all kind of roll out of the car and wind up dead on the ground. I’m the only one who survives as Paige slumps over the wheel. It was silent when we finished; no one knew whether to clap or cry or scream. It was that shocking; you felt like you had just witnessed a tragic car accident. I’m really proud of this dance because it had such an important message and an incredible impact on anyone who watched it. I hope it saves lives.

  “Amber Alert.” Another really dramatic group dance we did, this time at In10sity Dance. Kenzie plays a little girl who is kidnapped (by Nia!). The music is really haunting: “No one will take you, I’ll keep you whole until I die . . .” At the end, I find Kenzie dead in a chair and I run offstage crying. I had to really go to a place where I could imagine my little sister in danger. I think of it today and I get chills. It was so dark and eerie because it’s real; kids are taken every day. Sometimes the scariest dances are the ones about real situations, not fantasies. Not a lot of dance competition teams do these kinds of dances—they’re sort of a Dance Moms thing. But even if they’re scary or bloody, I like a dance that tells a story or leaves the audience thinking.

  “The Waiting Room.” We did this at Center Stage nationals and it’s my favorite group dance ever, although I think I’m still traumatized from it. We’re supposed to be sitting in a hospital waiting room, worrying, watching the clock tick away on the wall as the hours go by. Nia is in surgical scrubs covered in blood; each of us waits for the word: Who lives and who dies? I have to walk to the corner of the stage, shaking my head in disbelief. I finally get the horrible news that someone I love is gone, and I crumble. I was physically shaken in that moment. If I watch it over again, I actually feel that horrible hole in my heart; that pit in my stomach, as if it’s real and it’s happening and I’m helpless to stop it. The tears were real; the pain was real. I was in that moment.

  MY TEAMMATES

  I remember the very first moments I met each of my ALDC friends like it was yesterday . . .

  Nia: I was about four years old the first time I saw her in the studio at ALDC. She used to wear these curly pigtails and they were so cute. She’s a year older than me, and I was very impressed because whenever we would go to dance conventions, she would win all these scholarships because she was so sassy and such a great performer. Our favorite thing to do together was have sleepovers at both our homes in Pittsburgh. We had our traditions. She got a baking set once for Christmas, so we would bake up a storm: cupcakes, cookie cakes, brownies, you name it. And we would make Video Stars on the app. We would dance and lip-synch to a lot of songs by Katy Perry! I knew even back then Nia was going to be a pop star—the girl can really sing. Just recently, Nia came to see me at one of the Sia concerts and I was so happy. She’s one of those people who it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you’ve seen each other, you just pick up where you left off. She’s the one friend that I always trust the most. I can tell her my biggest secrets and she will always keep them.

  Kendall: I was the first one she met when she came to our studio. She was sitting by herself, looking a little lost, and I said, “Come over and hang out with me.” Over the years, we’ve had a lot of crazy things we invented to do together—like the soap trampoline. We would pour liquid dish soap all over the trampoline in her backyard, then hit it with a hose. You slip and slide all over it, and at some point, you can’t even stand up and there are bubbles everywhere. At her house, we played a lot of GarageBand, creating these hilarious mashups and choreographing dances to them. We’d call in Kendall’s sisters, parents, grandparents, and there’d be twelve people watching us put on a show. I think my favorite mashup of all time was the “PB and J Time” song (don’t ask!). If Kendall is reading this, she’s rolling on the floor laughing . . .

  She also had a golf cart that was at her nan’s house. The backyard had three acres (it used to be a farm), and her grandma used it to get around. We would drive it around, and Kendall was really good at it. One day, we were going to a grad party in the neighborhood with Nia and decided to take the cart to get there.

  “You wanna drive?” Kendall asked Nia. “It’s really fun and easy.”

  Nia hesitated for a second—she’d never driven a golf cart before. “Um, sure.”

  She got behind the wheel and was literally inching down the street, barely moving at all. At this rate, we were never going to get to the party.

  “Come on, you can go a little faster!” we teased her. “You’re driving like a granny.” Famous last words! She hit the gas and didn’t know how to turn or stop. Kendall and I were praying for our lives! Finally, she went flying into someone’s driveway, almost hitting a brick wall, and slammed on the brakes. Lesson learned: Do not let Nia behind a wheel without a lot more practice!

  Kalani: We met when she was doing Abby’s Ultimate and clicked. She’s super fun, and always honest with me—which I love. I can ask her, “Is this outfit cute?” and she’ll say, “Um, not your best look,” and we’ll crack up. She has a brand-new car, a white Range Rover, which she got for her birthday before she even had her license! I went with her and her mom, Kira, to the DMV when she took her road test. I was filming all of Kalani’s three-point turns on my phone, cheering her on. Then she got out of the car with this sad look on her face.

  “Oh no! Did you fail?” My heart was pounding, because I knew how much this meant to her.

  Suddenly, her face lit up and she grinned from ear to ear. “Nope! I passed! Gotcha!” She’s such an amazing friend, and I can always count on her for everything.

  JoJo: The girl is literally a ball of energy—completely crazy, but in a great way that lights up a room. She joined ALDC after doing Abby’s Ultimate and truly ended up one of my best friends. We share an obsession for Grey’s Anatomy, but she has taken hers to a whole other level, and I don’t just mean binge-watching thirteen seasons over the past three months. She actually went on eBay and bought scrubs and a name tag that reads DR. SIWA. I’m not kidding; I’m actually a little scared she’s going to wear it out in public. My mom and I love her and her mom, Jessalyn; they are the sweetest, kindest people, and so supportive. I FaceTime JoJo constantly—I just need my daily dose of her to make me laugh. I keep asking her when she’s gonna retire the giant bows and she tells me, “Yeah, soon.” But I’ve seen her hair accessory collection and it’s not going to be easy. We might have to surgically remove them . . .

  Memories of Maddie

  “I first had Maddie in a ballet class when she was five years old. She would stand in the back corner and not say a word. Sometimes her belly would hurt and she would come whisper that to me. I always told her she could sit down and take a break, but she never wanted to. She wasn’t the best in the class, but I could always tell she was listening and taking everyone else’s corrections. One day, we were doing a petit allegro and she asked if we landed one of the jumps on the eight or the one. At that point, I knew this five-year-old was something special. I didn’t even know the exact counts myself!

  “The first dance I worked on with Maddie was her very first solo, ‘I Want to Be a Star.’ We cleaned it every Tuesday for a half hour. She knew the routine like the back of her hand. Every correction I’d give her she would overexaggerate, fixing it so I would notice. More vividly, I can remember transforming ‘Over the Rainbow’ into ‘Cry’ for the TV show. She had à la seconde turns to a double pirouette at the end of the routine that we
re a little rough that we worked on forever! Her timing and stage presence were impeccable from the beginning.

  “Every Tuesday, come rain or shine, 4 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. was our time slot. That time slot went to learning how to come up from a backbend to creating routines like ‘She’s History,’ which is one of my favorites. We would work on cleaning her dances, making up combos, and later on creating routines once Dance Moms hit. I can remember seeing Maddie pacing back and forth in the doorway until 4 p.m. As soon as I let my prior student out, she would bust through the door—couldn’t wait another minute. We would be dripping sweat, both of us, by the end of the lesson. No matter what we did, she was dancing 150 percent every time and giving every ounce of energy she had. She was always so polite. She would thank me a million times for the smallest things. She would open up to me in our private rehearsals, but kept more to herself when it came time for other classes. She has definitely grown up, but I still see the same little Maddie.

  “I have so many fun memories with her! During the summer of Season 1 we were attending several nationals that came through the city. We were filming at one of them, and then our other company kids were competing at two additional ones. Of course, Maddie was involved in all three. As soon as she competed her solo at the first, she and I got in a taxi. I completely changed her costume head to toe and her hairstyle by the time we got down the Vegas strip to the next competition. The driver had no idea. We jumped out, we ran through the casino, and she was next onstage!

  “Maddie always excels in the group routines. In a lot of them she was the lead, which put a lot more pressure on her. I can remember us doing a routine called ‘War Torn.’ In rehearsal she said to me, ‘I think this is the fastest choreography you’ve ever given me.’ Of course she was nailing it, but in the end, I thought it was too fast and choppy and wound up slowing it down. So she was right! I think ‘Vertigo’ ranks up there as one of her hardest solos. I remember thinking, Whoa, that’s a lot of tricks! Also, the number we did for a young girl who is part of the Starlight [Children’s] Foundation called ‘Hold On’ was pretty difficult.